Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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