What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
