To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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