just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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