I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
