just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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