you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
