No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
