I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
