I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
