Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
