her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
