Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
