I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
