My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
