Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
