I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
MIDGETS
????
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
