with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
