she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the day after is always just damage control
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
