his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize