Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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