Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
