He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
