I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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