wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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