what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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