I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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