that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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