did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
