I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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