Need sex. Gaining weight.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
