I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize