I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
