Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
