I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
