Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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