there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
