weddingsv make me drug and hornr
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize