When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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