why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize