Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
