peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
