Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
