how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
