i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
