So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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