I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
