Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
