I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
