i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize