I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
