From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
