Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
