Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
