physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
