Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Drunk is not a location!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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