so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
