how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
