I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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