what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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