Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We have started to decorate penises.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
