Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
