What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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