His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
