My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
