I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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