she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
